Bearing down on 40

Wow, what to do to celebrate 40 years on this planet? I considered going to Buenos Aires for a week, but my wife has to teach and we have two young boys so I would have to go alone which does not sound like much fun. I used to love to travel alone, especially to South America. Things change. I also considered trying to hole up for a few days to do some recording. But with the kids in the house I would have to do it somewhere else. But where? And am I motivated to record right now? Actually, I think I am terrified at the prospect of having 72 hours alone to record only to discover that I have no motivation to do it. There is nothing scarier than getting to do the one thing you have been complaining incessantly about not getting a chance to do, only to discover that, when finally given the opportunity, you don’t want to do it. I considered taking the tent trailer out for a few days. I still might do that. I considered going to Santa Cruz to surf. At this point the only definite thing is that Melanie and I are going to go to Big Sur for two nights without the kids. But I want MORE!!! But what?

It is interesting to ponder these changes. After 5 years of intense child-rearing, something so simple as figuring out how to recreate for a few days is a terribly agonizing decision. It is partly because I am so out of practice. Before kids, it was no big deal to take off with the wife to travel, take a bike trip, go surfing, or hole up at home and do music. But now I A) Can’t take the wife (my traveling partner!!) and B) Can’t hole up at home, which is a favorite pastime of mine. And since this whole taking off thing is not something I have done for so long, it is like I have one shot at it and the infinite possibilities coupled with the finite nature of my trip is creating a decision-making paralysis. Argh!!!